When you’re married you share everything, right? But does that include open access to your e-mail? What about your Facebook account? Or any other online accounts for that matter? I’ve always thought it was about trust. I know I’m not married, but I think those things are private unless the other person invites you to share. Am I wrong?
I’m very fascinated by social media and intrigued by the easy access we allow others to our lives, including exes– both former friends and oddly enough former love interests. And somehow in the Cyber world we decide it’s okay for someone we no longer love– or even like– to read all about us. And we may not give much thought to allowing them that access. The question is, are you simply curious? Or do you have other less than innocent motives? And if think about it, does your spouse think about it too?
Do you ever feel compelled to check up on what their “friends” are writing to them? Do you catch yourself logging into your spouse’s account to read everything? Or is it off-limits? I’ve always found when I wanted to snoop the most, it was because I didn’t trust the person. But if you’re confident in your relationship it wouldn’t seem necessary to go poking around, would it?
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
Tags: attitude, cheating, dating, marriage, miss attitude
I am married and although my husband is not active online other than email, I feel no reason to check up on him. We share an email account and we have separate email accounts also. I have shown him things on my facebook already. I would have no problem with him logging in or looking at anything I have on any of my pages or reading my email.
I love being a stalker!!! You know you do too! xo
I would not want to snoop into my significant other’s (if I had one) things. I would be comfortable sharing – I am an open book….
If the person gives you no reason whatsoever to doubt them, then no…there’s no reason to snoop.
If it’s a Myspace account or something, yeah, you might find yourself glancing at the comments but logging into their email? Yeah, not so much.
I actually just ended a two month dating relationship with a guy. He was all about me in the beginning and then just shut down. He freaked out b/c as he puts it “I’m so perfect” and he’s been screwed over in the past so he claims he is too messed up for anything. Right…. So I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore, not even as friends. So it’s funny you should write this entry because we got in an argument about taking my close girlfriends off his facebook. He is fighting to keep them and I am asking him to take them off. I don’t want him creeping into the corners of my life right now and he doesn’t get that. He’s known them for two months! Just take them off and get over it. He was being a jerk so I just ended up having the gals delete him. Am I being petty? Perhaps…but I don’t want him knowing what I am up to. He doesn’t deserve to be my friend. His behavior in the end was not acceptable so why should I cater to what he wants?
mrs bronsont & I share everything except check books, she can’t balance one and it drives me freeking crazy
I feel compelled to check certain facebook and myspace pages once and awhile, but I would never log onto someone’s acct. It’s more out of curiosity for me that I feel compelled, not trust issues. Besides he freely lets me read whatever I want on his page or his emails. If you have nothing to hide, why not be completely open? on the other hand, I like to compartmentalize and sometimes it’s nice to have a little corner just for me – like Plurk or Facebook.
My e-mail is open all the time. If he wants to read it all he has to do is click and start scrolling. Hubby’s is the same way.
I don’t check, I don’t need to and I feel like it’s a matter of respect. If he asks me to look or shares someting with me, that’s fine, but I don’t feel compelled to go looking and searching for anything.
XOXO
I know we’ve talked about this. We have an open book policy. I can look if I want to. He can look if he wants to. Because of that it doesn’t happen. I see his email, he sees mine when it’s open.
That sentence says it all in my view. If you are confident enough in the strength of your relationship and give each other what you need, no need to snoop.
I don’t check HusbandGuy’s stuff. I could if I wanted, I have all his passwords… but I don’t. He’s allowed to have relationships that don’t include me or my input. (relationships not RELATIONSHIPS) We both feel like we are individuals aside from being a couple and that we are entitled to friendships outside our marriage. We trust one another not to cross lines and if anyone gets too close we talk it out.
It is all about Trust. If you are “snooping” then either your spouse is giving you a reason or you are just insecure with your own personal actions … From personal experience it is the latter.
I’m an open book. I’m also ridiculously single lol I dated a guy who invited me to snoop. “Go in the attic and have a look if you’d like.” I had no causet to do it, but it was nice that he was willing to be so open. My response was, “do you have something you want me to discover? If so, now is a good time to share it.”
I don’t check on my husband’s stuff, but I know his passwords and he knows mine. When I was having stalking issues, I checked out his email to see what a friend of mine sent him after she mentioned casually that she emailed him with a “don’t tell her, I don’t want her to worry” sort of thing.
Otherwise, I’m always checked in to my accounts and he’s always checked in to his accounts, so it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s funny too since quite a few of my girlfriends have friended him on FB and leave him comments and whatnot.
I’d have to say, if one is a snooper at heart, they’re either looking for trouble or they have trust issues.
I’m just too lazy to snoop around.