Okay my mother wasn’t like that when I was growing up, so why do I feel so guilty about so many things? I’m not talking about an overwhelming sense of guilt, but more of a nagging tiny little voice in my head making me feel bad. Yesterday I posted a picture of my most recent purchase, which in reality wasn’t a Christmas gift at all. I bought the Coach tote as a replacement for one that was damaged smelled like toilet water when when my condo flooded in August. I received insurance money to replace some of the items, but I felt guilty making such an extravagant purchase.
I know I shouldn’t. I got a good deal on the purse, and I had the money set aside for it. And even if I hadn’t received insurance money to replace it, I should be able to treat myself. I work very hard for my money. I have two jobs and don’t get as much sleep as I need. I don’t go around living an extravagant lifestyle– well except for this condo I lovingly call “The Money Pit”.
Recently I’ve been feeling guilty about not doing enough for some of the people in my life. I’m exhausted and often make the choice to nap or at least rest at home instead of doing things they want me to do, or I feel like I should be doing to help them. If I spend some time rationalizing it, I realize they probably don’t expect as much from me as I think they do. I’ve always been the kind of person who sets the bar higher for herself than anyone else does.
So I’ve decided to own these feelings and work on letting them go. So instead of doling out advice this time, I need some. What do you do when you feel guilty about something when you know you shouldn’t?
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
Tags: advice, attitude, christmas, coach, condo trouble, friends, guilt, guilty, miss attitude, purse, shopp
When I feel this way I have to say to myself in the big picture will this really make a difference. When I am lying on my deathbed will I look back and say…yes I should have gone out that night with my friends? If the answer to me is yes, I rectify my situation. If the answer to my question is no,it won’t make a difference in the big picture, I simply let it go. We can all only do the best we know how to do. If someone you are hanging around with doesn’t get that or understand well then maybe they are not the friend you thought they were. Three things I know: 1. you work a hellish schedule 2. you do all you can possibly do for others 3. Yes somethings you really have to let go. Easier said than done I know. I hope you find the inner peace you need to move on from feeling guilty.
You probably expect far more from yourself than any of your friends do. I am the same way. You deserve that gorgeous purse, so stop feeling guilty and enjoy it!
I do what you just did. I talk to the people I trust…I ask them if I’ve been neglecting them, etc. More often than not, we’re harder on ourselves than we should be…I actually mentioned this in my post today…We have to realize that as much as we want to do things to make our loved ones happy, sometimes, we have to take time for ourselves FIRST.
You can’t go to every party, can’t buy every present, can’t be the shoulder at EVERY turn…because if you get stretched too thin, you won’t be good for anyone or yourself.
So stop feeling guilty. Think about the picture and remember, a little indulgence boosts your morale, which shines on the people around you
I think guilt can be so debilitating – especially with someone as decent and kind as you are.
For me, I try to see what the guilt serves in my life. How does it work for me? How specifically does it keep me safe?
When in doubt, I do the forgiveness meditation.
((hug)) I’m glad you have the purse.
Women are just hardwired this way, unfortunately. It’s why we make great mommies!
In the life-long scheme of things, will this purchase be something you look back upon with regret? Was anyone hurt (including yourself) in any way by acquiring the purse? You saved, you work hard, you deserve it.
If you’re still feeling guilty, however, there are a ton of great charities that would love a donation this time of year. Doing something for someone else can work wonders for you.
Nothing to add but that I concur with the 5 wise women above me.
You work entirely too hard to support yourself to feel guilty about anything.
Love those who need loving and enjoy what rest time you have.
Guilt is easy … Loving yourself MUCH more difficult …
You choose …
Hmm… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever felt guilty like that. If I had the money to treat myself, I’m usually happy about it. And if I didn’t have the money but splurged anyway? Then I usually lament the fact that the world is so unfair and blame everybody but me.